Natalie's Nook

A friend of mine came to me a while ago with the question of “when is the right time to tell my parents about my new relationship?” For those that like to give quick advice, they would say “whenever the time is right.”; but you still have to figure out when that exact time should be.

That was a question I really had to ponder on for two reason: 1. I haven’t been in a committed relationship since my Sophomore & Junior year of high school (about 5-6 years ago) leading to 2. I wasn’t sure I could give them the answer they would need in order to decide on the next steps to take; but I thought long and hard and here was my answer….

I told them the right time to tell the rents would be when they felt as though their significant other is going to be around for a long time and not just a good time. When they felt as though that “the revolving door of relationships will finally come to a halt with this one person.” When they realized that it’s not about the idea of having a lover and being in a relationship, but the fact that they found someone they weren’t looking for in the first place. . . .someone they deserve to love and be loved by in return. I told them that this isn’t some adolescent high school relationship where you meet a guy or a girl, you two talk for a few weeks, and then next thing you know you’re “dating”. No. Now that we are older we need to allow ourselves to get more acquainted with someone we may want to see as a potential significant other.

It’s more than just “what’s your favorite food? what’s your favorite color? or who’s your favorite music artist?” It’s about the places they love to visit when they need down time. The foods they have always said they’d try but haven’t gotten around to doing so. Career interests. Personal goals and ambitions. Any good habits that others may see as being weird? Marvel or DC Comics (choose wisely)? Dream vacation destination. What makes you stand out in a crowded room for your significant other to seek you out without hesitation? What draws you two towards each other? Getting to know someone doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it happen in merely a few weeks or months. It may takes years to fully understand someone to meet you all’s true compatibility.

See, physical attraction is common, but mental and spiritual connections are rare.

Communication is key! That goes for any relationship: platonic, romantic, and kinship. It’s heartbreaking to witness people get in relationships that don’t last as long as they hoped it would, simply because their partner played with them. We’re to old to be playing games, guessing games of what someone’s intentions with us will be. When your heart, body, and minds are aligned, that will be the perfect time to tell not just the parents but close friends as well.

As for my friend, I have met the person they have let into their life and from what I can tell they seem fitting. I have seen them interact with one another and I can tell that they have become familiar with each other over time. Something about them screams longevity. . .

To put it in the wise words of the late Greek philosopher Plato: “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.”